at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
a search helicopter?!
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
