I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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