You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
