..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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