I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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