had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
