I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
