I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
