Pappa wants mamma naked
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
