he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
