come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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