So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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