He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize