you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
