Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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