I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
