overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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