I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
