11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
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found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
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They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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