My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
