when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
