Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
