Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Randomize
