he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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