it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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