I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
