If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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