Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
