I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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