Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
