you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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