How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
