whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Randomize
