tell your sister to shave her snatch
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
She tied me up with her honor cords...
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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