Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
