Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
