she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
