At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
3pm strippers are depressing
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
