I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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