So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Randomize
