dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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