Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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