i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
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They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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