Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
