how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
