this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
