babies were throwing up all over the place
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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