is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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