Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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