Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
