Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
