Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
