Porn is love you can see.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
