Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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