Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
