grandma shit on top of the toilet
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
