seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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