My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
