drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
