I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Someone came in the potted fern
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
